Friday, April 15, 2011

The State in Which I Find Myself

As of late, I have been in an interesting whirlwind of juggling who I once was with who I now am. I have found myself regressing towards old, less desirable habits and I question why. I can feel a strong desire for change and for what I see myself fully being. At the same time, it is like there is some part of me saying, "Wait, remember all of these things? I thought you liked them." Liked being the key word. And yet, I find these old behaviors, like craving junk food, perplexing to me. Why at this point in my life? Why when I have been on this journey to health and vitality for so long now, do I all of the sudden crave these things which bring artificial happiness?

Perhaps there was some sense of community in them. That is what I am truly craving now. A sense of community. Not just friends and family, although I am so very thankful for them, but what I crave is so much more than that. In my ideal community, I would have friends, family, and so many loved ones close to me. We would depend on the land, God, and each other to provide for ourselves, not the government or a grocery store. We would grow our own crops, the very best organic, non-gmo crops. We would harvest wild edibles together while our children laughed and played.

As Josh (my husband) and I are looking for land and a house now, this is definitely on the forefront of my mind. I feel as though things are happening much faster now. Definitely faster than our original plan which is exciting and scary all at once. Picking the perfect place to settle down. The place we choose, we want to live on for the rest of our lives. This would be so much more than a "starter home" which so many people I know are now doing. This would be the land that sustained and nourished us. The land that we valued and treated with respect.

As I think about all that I would like for this land to encompass, so many things stand out. I would like for it to have a spring near by where we could go and get clean, refreshing water freely without having to drive to get it. Some part of me feels that soon our society will come to a point where we are unable to drive to get to places. Weird, I know. Wild foods would be abundant. The land would be fertile and perfect for growing our own food. There would be space for my kids to play (yes, I just have one as of now) and for chickens and a goat to roam. There would be an intimate connection with nature the way it was intended, the way God first planned it in the garden. My children would learn about their world and how it works in a first hand experience. They would see animals being born, witness the cycles of the seasons and see what each one holds.

The land would be near to those that hold the same ideals. Maybe we'd all have a couple acres, maybe more, where property lines were drawn but no one really cared. Neighbors would walk freely between each others houses and care and watch after each others little ones without fear of negative or evil things happening to them. The land would be a safe haven to all that came upon it. Each family would specialize in something whether that be making kimchi, sourkrawt, lacto fermented sodas, dried fruits and veggies, pickling, manna, or more, and everyone would share everything knowing that we each had more than enough and by making enough for everyone, we each got a little bit more.

I believe the time is coming for a society to exist like this. So instead of me craving junk and grabbing for it, perhaps I will grab an organic apple and save the seeds for my future land. Maybe instead of storing up useless items, I will store up the seeds from the lemon I just juiced. I have found lately that I am starting to look more at the foods I enjoy and consume the most often which are of course healthy and organic. I feel this incredible urge that while I may not have the land now, I need to save the seeds to ensure that I can enjoy them at a later time. I have come to the point of realization where I have been a consumer for far too long. It is my time now to give back to the earth what she has given me. So I will plant what I wish to consume and I will save the seeds for the plants I wish to have later. I thank God for this wake up call. I feel it is an urgent one.

I started a garden with my friend Kelly earlier this week. As hesitant as I was to buy dirt, I gave in. Kelly and I were both very happy with the quality of what we purchased and we felt great about giving the best dirt to our plants that we thought we could give. After all, if the nutrients aren't in the dirt, they won't be in your plants, your food. I also started planting some stuff at my apartment in containers. I haven't finished, but I am excited about the progress I have made in each of the gardens. I am looking forward to reaping what I have sown.

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